AMHERST, MA.

Greg completed his time here on earth with intelligence, compassion, and deep caring on May 27, 2023 at 3:45 p.m. at home.   He succumbed following a series of medical complications. He was 32.

Greg was born on Jan 09, 1991 in Kisavarda, Hungary.  It is a tiny village on the Ukrainian border, desperately poor.   His mother had poor maternal skills, all seven of his siblings were serially abandoned to orphanages,  She abandoned Greg and two siblings twice leaving them in the Sunday market square.   Later she got an unfinished house with no door.  Child services visited and took the three sick kids to an orphanage.  Ben the youngest was deaf from severe ear infections eventually fixed at Boston Childrens Hospital.   Greg became a father at a young age.  He intervened in any beatings of the others and took them himself. 

Judith and I adopted all three in a fit of compassionate madness.  We took them to live in Concord MA where they thrived.  Greg was the protector,  Ben was very tiny; 3 years old and wearing infant clothes.  He carried Ben on his hip as he could not walk.  Evelyn had seizures;  Greg defended her from ridicule.  Nobody messed with his siblings.   Greg struggled life long with CPCSD a condition rooted in childhood neglect generating poor self esteem and subsequent difficulties in bonding.  He was a caregiver and protector that gravitated to “broken birds” for girlfriends.  They led him into their own weaknesses and addictions.  He tried to fix them a hopeless task.  He would find butterflies with torn wings and fix them with superglue.

He was exceedingly bright with an iQ of 140;  He learned perfect English including subjunctives in two months.  He earned an associates degree in Paraprofessionalism with a 4.0 average.  He aced Philosophy and Logic.  He was studying Solid Works to obtain a professional license.   His 3D skills were at 99%.

Recently through 23 and Me he connected with a full sister and several aunts and uncles and first cousins in Hungary.  He was planning a trip to visit them.  After years of anger towards his birth mother he told me “I forgive her”.   His heart was huge and fragile.

Greg had lots of faults.  Life gave him a very difficult start and a rocky path.  We all write our own narratives starting as children.  He had to be his own parent and a parent for his siblings; that damaged him severely.  Judith and I adopted him; it was difficult for him to be a child.  He treated himself as a parent.  There were some off the rails years in middle and high school.  Early trauma never healed.  As parents we took more of a back seat while he wrote his life story.  He gravitated to girlfriends who were not good for him and to drug use to calm his internal pain.  I and Judith tried my best to support him but he was dogged by that pain and difficulty to make relationships.  In Bridgewater treatment center he made great strides with excellent counselors.  He excelled at coursework.  I was very hopeful, so was he.  His inner voices, calling him a failure or useless person, never went away.  Drugs to calm them were back in his life.

I am tempted to call myself a failure.  I realize nowI could not fix him or help him fix himself.   In the end he wrote his own story.  He made me a father something I always wanted to be.  I had wonderful philosophic talks with him.  He loved reading the Sufi texts of Idries Shah like Learning How To Learn and Commanding Self.  I will miss those talks sorely.  I tried as an imperfect man to do my best for him.  His pain was too great.  He decided to move on.  I miss my legal beagle, my big idea talk mate, my excellent handyman, my fixer of torn butterfly wings, my kid with pain so deep I could not help him.   I grieve and will for the rest of my life.

Greg was predeceased by his mother Judith and sister Evelyn.  He has a brother Benjamin Collison, a father Dr. George Collison.  He has two step brothers Dan of Ann Arbor and Steve Feder of  Damariscotta ME. He has cousins Henry of Reno, Louise of New Hope , and Josee of Damariscotta and Lucas of Grafton Vt.  In Hungary from 23 and Me he has a full sister and many aunts and uncles and first cousins.   He had planned to visit them this summer. 

 We all deeply grieve at this loss. May his memory be a blessing.

In lieu of flowers contributions may be made to the Scherizade Foundation for books for Afghan girls.

https://scheherazadefoundation.org